Papercuts
by OQuinn53
Summary: A one-shot about how Alec reacts to daily papercuts after the breakup.


**A/N: So my inner!Alec was in pain and I wanted him to feel better. This is not romantic, despite Magnus's appearance, but written so I know Alec will be okay, basically. Another oneshot I wrote that people who follow me on tumblr have seen, but I wanted to share here. **

**Disclaimer: See, if ****_I_**** owned these characters, I wouldn't be torturing y'all so much. ... Okay, so that's not necessarily true, but Cassie is just being cruel at this point, don't you agree?**

**Warnings: angst and stupid people. **

**I hope you enjoy it!**

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It was not a good day for Alec.

Given, no day had really been _good_ ever since Magnus broke up with him. He had somehow passed the time doing as he was told mechanically and heavy-hearted.

This day was different, however. It was the day of the next Clave meeting and he had been forced to go, despite his own protests. He knew he had to go—he couldn't let a break up interfere with his job, especially if he wanted to be recognized as an adult shadowhunter.

The dread of the meeting might have also been caused by the fact Magnus would be there. Alec was hopeless around the warlock, and he knew it. How was he supposed to be seen as an equal to every other shadowhunter when his ex boyfriend was within twenty feet—forty feet—a hundred feet away from him? Especially when the 'ex' was so new, and so raw. The prefix did things to Alec's stomach he was not proud of, but he tried to hold it down. What else was he supposed to do? He couldn't talk about it. Not about this. He was never very good with expressing himself in words, especially when it involved Magnus. No, he had to tame his feelings and hope Magnus never received any of the dozen of drunk voicemails he left.

Alec groaned lowly as he entered the hall. Sure enough, Magnus was only a few seats away and Alec was having a hard time concentrating on the subject. He kicked himself mentally after a while, still feeling the need to prove himself as a shadowhunter, and maybe as someone worthy of Magnus's love again. It didn't take long for him to catch up with the current conversation.

"We should focus on finding Sebastian. He is the source of the problem and if we find him, we'll find the children," someone spoke up—a Penhallow, if Alec wasn't mistaken. Alec had gathered children were being kidnapped from other institutes, and this was a meeting to decide how to approach it.

The thought of children brought up flashes of memory: messy hair and large glasses, skewed on a small face. Alec pushed those thought away, fast and hard.

"Although I agree Sebastian is the source—" Alec started, but was interrupted as another shadowhunter, one he did not know, spoke up.

"Can you not track him when he is in this realm, long enough to find a common location, Warlock?" the shadowhunter said, his voice demanding and condescending.

"Magnus."

Alec's eyes widened as the name slipped from his lips. It was an accident, really, or perhaps more of an instinct to correct them. Magnus had a name, and it should be used. He had always believed that, but now… now he slouched in his chair, hoping people would just _stop_ looking at him like that, like he was a freak of nature.

"Magnus," the male shadowhunter repeated, slowly turning his attention to Magnus, who Alec made sure to not to look at, or near for that matter. It was safer that way.

But hey, at least someone listened, right? It was a step.

Well, maybe.

Magnus already had a tracking spell going, but had found nothing from it. The rest of the meeting went on much like that, a growing frustration filling the hall as no solution was found. They were at a dead end, their only option to wait for Sebastian's next move. Alec had an idea brewing in the back of his head but he hardly had the energy to try and be heard again.

Alec also decided it was best for him to calm down in the privacy of a bathroom stall instead of leaving with his parents. He didn't want to hear a speech from his father, who thought this "phase" was going to end now that he was single, or to hear him get into another argument with his mother.

He did not make it to one of the stalls. In fact, he hardly had taken a step out of the hall when he felt something hit the back of his head, whatever it was cracking and leaking _something_ down the back of his neck. He turned around, trying to see where it had come from as he brought a hand up to discover what it was, only for something to hit him square in the face.

Eggs. They were _eggs_. He heard laughter as he tried to wipe the mess from his eyes, taking deep breaths so he could deal with this as maturely as possible. But this had never happened before. Sure, he had been scared to come out, but he had been more afraid of having his runes removed than, than… this.

He had barely cleaned off his eyes when he saw another one coming, and this time he acted. He reached out and grabbed the egg, not even caring as it cracked in his hand, the yoke squishing through his fingers as it dripped on the ground. He saw where the source was: two boys who looked to be barely preteen, both frozen in mid laughter, their arms clutching their stomachs as they stared at Alec in… in fear?

Alec realized he was glaring and still squeezing his fist towards them and could imagine how terrifying that could look. But that wasn't him. He felt a mix of feelings swell within him. Humiliation, anger, fear, and… disappointment. In the situation, and in himself. He lowered his arm. He couldn't say anything. The egg was starting to feel more and more disgusting as it matted his hair and crusted on his face and all he wanted to do was wash it off and forget this ever happened. He was going to continue to his destination before a voice rang out, clear and bored.

"Did that honestly make you feel better?" Magnus asked. Alec dared to glance at him and saw his face didn't betray any emotions. Magnus lowered his cat eyes as he emerged from the hall, dressed as fashionable as always. His eyes were narrowed, his pupils slits as he faced the boys. "Maybe _you'd_ like eggs thrown at you? I'm sure your parents would love to have that explained to them."

"Our parents say he's a freak," one of the boys said, courageous (or stupid) in the midst of being terrified of the warlock, even more than they had been of Alec. "They say you are, too. That it's against nature."

Magnus seemed unimpressed. "If you mean nature as in "biological" then you are even more poorly educated than I thought, which was low to begin with. Go look up chimpanzees, or spiders for that matter, and try that argument again."

The boys seemed confused, but obviously did not want to be in the presence of Magnus any longer, who had blue sparks coming from his fingertips.

Alec was conflicted. On one hand, he wanted to thank Magnus for defending him. On the other hand he didn't want to seem desperate to talk to him, or weak for that matter. There were other Shadowhunters around, watching the display, and Alec didn't want to say anything that could be used against him. His humiliation was winning out over all of his emotions and he could feel his shoulders tense as he ducked his head, his face an uncomfortably high temperature.

"What, do every one of you _really_ want to hear the debate of the definition of nature, here, when we're trying to find a guy who was _injected with demon blood_?" Magnus sneered. He was clearly annoyed and Alec did not want to have any part of that. He didn't think he could handle it. Not right now. He started back towards the bathrooms.

This time he made it a bit farther before he was stopped again. His arm was caught and on instinct he pulled away, turning swiftly to face the—

To face Magnus.

Alec noticed Magnus's concerned look, something he had seen before, and something he thought would never be directed at _him_ again.

"Are you okay?" Magnus asked then, dropping his outstretched hand. It was only then Alec realized how frantic his breathing had become, and how his whole body had started to shake. He didn't realize how much the situation had affected him until now—how horrified he had been to know Magnus had been the only thing preventing these type of events from happening, and that he had absolutely no clue how to handle them on his own. He could defend himself in a fight easily enough, but this? Pranks by kids? What was he supposed to do? How do they expect him to react?

Magnus had known, and as Alec looked into his cat eyes he could tell Magnus knew how to handle it from experience.

And Alec still could not speak. He could not think of a single thing he could say to Magnus at that moment, despite the dozens of voicemails he had left. Instead, he felt his breath pick up, and his vision start to tunnel and he could hear his name, the sound frantic. He was being taken somewhere, lead by firm hands on his shoulders. He wasn't exactly sure how far they went, or how long it was before he felt water splashed on his face and he gasped in surprise, blinking his eyes rapidly to try and refocus them.

Magnus was in front of him, his face still seemingly neutral, but Alec _knew_ him. At least, Alec knew his quirks. He could tell Magnus was concerned and also… curious.

Alec was also curious as to why he was sitting in the corner of a handicap stall, his knees pulled to his chest and his hands holding his head as water dripped off his nose.

Magnus was able to read his expression as well as anyone.

"I believe you just had a panic attack," Magnus explained, holding out a paper towel to him. Alec took it, embarrassed, and started wiping his face of the water and yoke.

He hadn't had a panic attack in years, it felt like, and he certainly felt stupid for it being over some kids throwing eggs. He groaned and buried his face into his knees and he cursed himself when he felt stinging at the back of his eyes.

"Go away," he mumbled, truly not wanting Magnus to leave but also not wanting him to witness how weak he was in this moment.

He heard shuffling and looked up quickly, startled to see Magnus actually moving away. Maybe it was instinct, or maybe it was his extreme need to just be around Magnus a little longer, but either way he found himself holding Magnus's arm, kneeling after coming out of his safe ball. He was starting to not care how pathetic he looked. This was MAGNUS. Magnus had already seen him at a low point, and probably already thought horrible things about him.

"I'm sorry," Alec said quickly, letting go of Magnus's arm and stepping up to a standing position. He wouldn't let himself look directly at Magnus. He didn't want to see pity in his eyes. He took a few deep breaths through his nose. "Thank you—I mean, for stopping those kids. I—" His voice cracked and grit his teeth in shame. "I didn't know how to handle it."

There was a moment of silence where Alec thought Magnus might decide to just leave. His curiosity got the better of him and he looked up, meeting golden-green eyes with his own.

Magnus's expression was not necessarily fully pity, but it was there, under layers of just… sadness and flickers of anger. Magnus took a paper towel before stepping closer to Alec. Alec watched, shocked, and Magnus started to clean his face, closing his eyes only when Magnus wiped over them.

"It will get better," Magnus said, low enough to almost be a whisper. It was soft and pained. "Nephilim might be an idiotic bunch, but they learn. Albeit slowly, but they do. They'll see that you aren't anything like what they think." Magnus pulled his hand away and Alec was able to open his eyes just enough to see a sad smile on glossed lips. "You are not a freak."

"I don't understand," Alec said, his chest tight. "Why are you doing this? You should be ignoring it. Or-or feel happy about it or something."

"No one deserves this. Not even you," Magnus whispered. "Especially not you."

Alec could not help a small sense of hope warm him. He was about to respond, to question Magnus further, but Magnus knew already. It should bother him, that Magnus could read him so well, but it didn't. It was only convenient.

"I told you, Alexander. I love you. I always will, but that doesn't mean we can be together."

Alec quickly adverted his eyes, deciding the toilet was suddenly very interesting. Which it was not. "I understand. I mean. I'll try to."

Magnus said nothing to that. Instead he balled the dirty paper towels and threw them in the trash. "I suggest getting the rest out of your hair soon. You won't want to deal with it dried, believe me. Also, your parents are waiting for you outside."

"My PARENTS?" Alec squeaked. He buried his face in his hands. "I can't face them like this."

"You can, and you'll be fine," Magnus said. He seemed to want to say more but decided against it. He wasn't looking at Alec anymore, and Alec couldn't help but wonder if this was how Magnus felt when he looked away. It felt awful. Then Magnus did add something. Something that made his heart sink. "Good bye, Alec. Good luck."

"Yeah…" Alec said, his throat feeling like it was closing shut. "Good bye, Magnus."

And Magnus left.

Alec still felt horrible and dreaded when he had to leave the safety of the stall, which had to be soon. Yet Magnus had done him a favor. He had let Alec know he wasn't alone in this, and that maybe, just maybe, he could prove them wrong. Magnus had faith he could get through this, and how could Alec let him down?

So he took a few breaths, cleaned his hair as much as he could, squared his shoulders and exited the bathroom.

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**A/N: I think we all need that little reminder, neh? Let me know if you e joyed it~**

**~Annie**


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